Shame

Who would I be

if I trusted me

or tried to?

Who would I be

if I wasn't broken

and lied to?

Who would I be

if you

had backed me

supported my dreams

or just tried to?

Extra steps I must take

all these demons I face

reverberate

from a childhood with you.

True?

So who would I be

if you hadn't made me

stand behind

enemy lines

that you drew?

Who would I be now

if I had just backed down

- when should I back down? -

and when should I stand,

proud?

When should my actions

and passions

be loud?

Who would I be

if I trusted me?

Fear I'll never know

and it just goes to show

that everywhere I go

I'm surrounded by ghosts

of a past I can't shake

any future I make

any triumph or mistake

is a consquence

of your negligence

and failed attempts

at recompense

that dictate my circumstance

and I'm tired.

Who would I be

if I just

could trust me

but plainly

I can't and I won't.

I've been sentenced

to a lifetime

of blank verse

and half-rhyme

feelings with no lifeline

pulse remains

a crime.

And I'm crying.

Shame.

You gave me this life

and this name.

and this brain

you can't tame.

Damn shame.

It's a damn shame.