Truths

Run-resistant hose, aren't.

Easy open jars, don't.

Saying that you will, won't.

Action over words.

In praise of losing

Charles Bowen ("D") may be the smartest person I know, and he is undoubtedly the most hard-headed.

This combination, I like to think, is what draws us together.

It ensures conversations will be witty and spirited, and that silences will be telling.

But, every so often, it also makes for a Clash of the Titans-epic row.

I count one such argument - specifically, its aftermath - as one of the proudest moments of my life.

Because I lost.

...

On the way to or from somewhere or other, D and I got into a conversation about the death penalty. And, as such "conversations" often do, it lead to a knock-down, drag-out argument.

Now anyone who's ever argued with me knows two things:

1. I do not come to my decisions lightly. Much thought is involved. So, if you're gonna counter me, you better have your facts in order. Or I will destroy you.

2. Charles Bowen may be hard-headed, but, were there a contest, I'm certain I'd take the crown for it. On my best days, it means I stick to my guns and principles. On my worst, I'm just an intolerable human being.

Knowing these things, D debated me anyway.

He countered facts for facts.

He met me head on for headstrong.

And, with a very pointed question, he changed my mind.

...

Perhaps, as my freshman lit teacher advised, I should repeat that last sentence for emphasis. But instead, I'd like to rephrase.

The reason it's a moment I herald as one of the finest in my life is because I changed my mind.

Me, with my stubborn nature and my litany of facts, listened to an opposing argument and allowed myself to be open to its truths.

I changed my mind.

...

In a nation so completely divided among political and ideological lines, more often than not the majority of what we see and hear (and spout) is that the other side is comprised of a bunch of morons. As such, we dismiss the others - often statistically about half the population - and deny them the respect that should be accorded to every human being (even the stupid ones who disagree with me.)

...

I changed my mind.

...

And friends, I can tell you, the benefits of that action are a gift that keeps on giving.

Accepting, even for a moment, that I might have been wrong. That there might have been more forest hidden amongst those trees - was humbling and embarrassing for a moment. But it's been liberating ever since. Because there's no room for growth in "being right," and endless room for growth in learning you might be wrong.

And maybe there are more options than right and wrong...when's the last time you actively considered the implications of that?

The moment you agree to consider - to listen - to really, really think about what you believe, you may be surprised at what you find.

For some, they will find themselves where they started, and more secure than ever before in that place. For others, a new path will be found, one that offers the opportunity to explore a new headspace. Which often leads to meeting new people and continuing to learn new things.

I've seen a lot of line-in-the-sand lately. A lot of dismissive rhetoric with very little statistical or ideological merit. And I've seen the damage it can do.

It remains my hope that others will come around to the process of openmindedly examining another point of view. Of reserving judgement. Of seeing an opponent as an opportunity, rather than a threat to be eliminated.

I believe we can do it.

And, at least in this instance, I don't think it'd be a point of pride to be proven wrong.

Quixotic Dream

With windmills

as mine enemies

All epithets

and schoolgirl dreams

To don one day

a Don

or a

Dulcinea

from Aldonza

Dare I?

When people fuck with me

I just received an email from a public relations "professional" lambasting me for calling her boss for a story "over her head." (That we called her and she proved completely useless, delaying us for two weeks and then, on deadline day, declaring she would not come through, is an important point to note.)

So she has the brass balls to email the press and complain that we went around her.

She obviously doesn't know who I am.

My response:

Name redacted –

It is my understanding that NAME REDACTED STAFF WRITER attempted to go through you on several occasions, and received no usable information. As it's our job as media to cull and present information, and your job as a media relations liaison to provide that information, the failure on your end to do so prompted myself and my staff to do what journalists do when we do not receive information through the desired, middleman channels - go directly to sources who could and should be of help.

As the NAME REDACTED ORGANIZATION PR PERSON WORKS FOR purports itself to be the voice of the industry, having nothing to say on the topic of TOPIC OF STORY REDACTED is…telling..and you can consider yourself fortunate that we have yet to mention, in print, the number of times ORGANIZATION was contacted either without response or with a response indicating that we would have information provided, only to be told at the last minute, on deadline, that the information would not, in fact, be provided. I'm certain our readership in INDUSTRY REDACTED departments would be interested to know that ORGANIZATION has nothing to say about a topic that very much affects the lives of its day to day membership.

Additionally, I have done you the good service of not penning complaints about your job performance to members of your management team. That you thought it was appropriate to do so is also…telling. As you can see by my inclusion of MY BOSS on this response, I do not fear retribution for calling the ORGANIZATION, repeatedly, for a story about INDUSTRY safety. Given the chance, I'd do so again. Nor am I concerned about burning any bridges with you. Presumably, my consequence would be that I would not be able to get any information from you in the future. As I was unable to get any information from you previously, I really don't see much of an issue.

Lastly, I might point you to the Bill of Rights, which states that Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of the press. As the most powerful governing body in our nation does not have the authority to tell the press to whom we can and cannot speak, I am quite sure the ORGANIZATION Media Relations and Communications Manager does not have such an authority. When I need you to tell me how to do my job, I'll ask you. And, true to form, I likely won't receive a response.

E