Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Voldemort V. Cosby - One Woman's Struggle

As a kid, I saw my life taking one of three paths: 1. I'd become a mermaid 2. Or a unicorn 3. If neither of the first two worked out, a Cosby Kid.

The first two were fraught with danger - 1. Eugene Levy would constantly be after you and, as you're under water, you can't sing America's soundtrack to "The Last Unicorn" at the top of your lungs 2. Between Voldemort and The Red Bull, you're pretty much screwed - so Cosby Kid was my safety standby. After all, nothing too terrible ever happened in the Huxtable House. If it did, Bill and Phylicia were "on it," and it was usually resolved in 30 minutes (22, without commercials).

And then Cosby went and ruined the whole thing.

Raven Symone protestations aside, the recent revelations brought forth from previously-sealed court docs reveal that Doctor Huxtable was potentially abusing his access to prescription medications. For sex! AND NOT SEX WITH PHYLICIA RASHAD!

Sigh.

Safety Standby indeed.

Looks like I may have been better off taking my chances with Voldemort.

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