Thursday, February 26, 2015

Pseudo Psychic

Like any good neurotic, I suffer from magic thinking - the belief that, by sheer mental prowess alone, I can make things happen. Or not happen. Which, as you might guess, results in some pretty terrifying behaviors.

Yes, with nothing more than the power of my mind, I can determine whether a plane lands safely or falls from the sky. It's entirely up to me. So, when someone I love is on that plane, I must therefore be psychotically diligent in my thoughts to keep that plane aloft. For if I falter - even for a moment - the plane and all within it could fall. And we don't want that to happen. So SILENCE! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE.

It's not always life or death things that require my cosmic mental power. But it is typically something that holds a mighty sway. Like whether or not I get a job. Or a role. Or a new friend. Or enemy.

Yes, truly, everything that happens in my life - and often in the lives of others - is completely up to me. And if it doesn't go the way I initially desired, well, then I must not have hoped hard enough. I must not have prayed diligently enough. I must have let me mind wander for a second too long - gone to get a cookie before the cosmic intermission - and missed something. I must've stepped on a crack on the way back. My mind must have made the proverbial plate drop.

For just as I have the ultimate control over any and all things with my mind, I am conversely powerless to rectify the mistakes of said grey matter. If the plate starts to drop, I panic and my mind can no longer stop it.

I cannot intercede once the chips begin to fall...

So, my friends, DILIGENCE! as once more into the fray go I.

And fret not! For tonight, you are all in my hands!

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