He sleeps with supermodels.
Oscar is a' courting this year.
And I? Hate his face.
Yup. That's right.
I can appreciate DiCaprio's acting talent, sure, but every time he appears onscreen - despite my sister's cries of adoring ecstasy - I cannot help but want to punch him in the mouth.
Such is my revulsion, I've dubbed the reaction "The DiCaprio Effect."
And it applies to every iteration of actor/tress, politician, somehow otherwise famous person, whose very visage incites the difficult-to-supress urge to begin swinging at the nose/tooth area.
Other offenders of The DiCaprio Effect? Joaquin Phoenix. Mickey Rooney. Dick Van Dyke. Matthew McConaughey. Hayden Pani...however you spell it. (I'd look it up, but Google'd include a picture of her, and then the punching would commence.)
Are these people talented? Yes. NOW LEMME AT 'EM!
Don't get me wrong. I'm not calling these folks ugly - lookin' at YOU, Amanda Bynes. Speaking of, Amanda Bynes? Definitely DiCaprio Effect material - it's rather just a gut reaction. Some inexplicable, uncontrollable urge to muss the puss.
And I know I can't be alone in this.
So go ahead, internet trolls. Have a field day.
Who makes your DiCaprio Effect list?