Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Fund my habit

"Sure, some people transcend their circumstances, but it’s callous for those born on second or third base to denounce the poor for failing to hit home runs." http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/28/opinion/kristof-where-is-the-love.html?_r=0

Unfortunately for the world (but mostly me), I am a woman of many ideas and zero follow through. That acknowledged, I was gazing in my bathroom mirror this morning, attempting - fruitlessly - to tame my mangled mane, when an idea struck me!

In this flash of brilliance (ie. hair-woe haze), I decided I should begin a non-profit, dubbed "Born on Base," where those of us born on first, second, or third (read example above for reference), could offer goods and services to those who were born up to bat without even the benefit of a practice swing.

I thought, if I could muster up enough influence, I might even be able to convince our All Star pitcher to give a hapless batter or two a free base on balls. Sure, the Ethics Board might have a thing (or eight) to say about it, but I'd proudly wear the Black Sox emblem if it meant someone less fortunate got a real shot at feeling the victory of a score.

Now all I have to do is come into millions of dollars.

Or develop an actual work ethic.

THIS JUST IN! BLACK SOX TAKING BETS ON WHICH COMES FIRST: UNEARNED, UNDESERVED MILLIONS, OR DEVELOPMENT OF WORK ETHIC.

My money's on the millions.

2 comments:

  1. You could start small by volunteering your writing skills to some of the many co-ops around town doing this exact thing. Maybe offer resume or cover letter writing classes? Use your acting ability to help with interview skills? Use your great fashion sense to give "makeovers " to those who've never had anyone to teach them otherwise?

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  2. Oh, Shelly, you beautiful land mermaid with legs! Oft, in my imaginings, I offer such services and am lauded for my charity and obvious status as a "good" person. And then? I go and play Candy Crush, secure in my sacrifices. Somehow, I never actually get around to actually sacrificing though. It's as if, by thought, I am good...and therefore the action aspect is inconsequential. Which, I'm pretty sure, is very, very bad.

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