Friday, July 6, 2012

Sphynx or "Why FaceBook has too many stupid fucking apps"

So FaceBook has this ridiculous app: "Between You and Me."

Little more than a ploy to make money (one must purchase 'tokens' to see who answered any of a Seattle Slew of questions about them), the app basically harasses all of your friends into answering what it feels are probing and evocative questions about you. You know, like, "Would Erin punch a goat in the gullet for a Blastin' Berry Hot Colors Fruit Roll Up?"

Stupid really, as the obvious answer to that last one is "yes."

Anyway, you can't see WHO answered these perspective-altering questions about you...but you CAN see the question and the answer. (Who answered is a mystery on par with the Sphynx and the locale of Hoffa, apparently. Wooooooooooo.)

But I've been wasting your time with goat punching and Hoffa searches. Let's get to the nitty of the gritty, shall we? Below are some of the questions and answers that--while still anonymous--make me laugh:

Do you think Erin has ever slapped anyone? YES

Do you think you can beat Erin in a fight? NO

Could Erin be a gangster? YES

Would Erin make a good spouse? YES (Naturally, given the answers above.)

Would Erin ever ditch a date? YES

Do you think Erin is a poser? NO ("Poser"!?!? Honesttogawd, does anyone ever say this anymore?)

Do you think Erin has good credit? YES

Would Erin ever dress up in a mascot outfit and run around? YES

Does Erin look good in tights? YES

Do you think Erin wants to 'come out of the closet'? NO (Haha. Jesus. Where DO they come up with this stuff?)

Do you think Erin has showered today? YES (Sadly this one is wrong.)

Do you think Erin is trailer trash? NO (This one too...)

Do you think Erin has ever given a 'dutch oven' to someone? NO (Ask anyone, I avoid ovens of all kinds.)

And the coupe de gras:

Do you think Erin would bail you out of jail? NO (That's right! ROT IN THERE FUCKER!)

Oh geez. The sheer joy of it brings tears to my eyes. Thank you FaceBook. Thank you.

5 comments:

  1. You are too funny, Love reading these. And I actually think I could beat you in a fight, just sayin.

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  2. I don't think they were referring to the kind of oven you cook in.

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  3. but i would still avoid all ovens...just sayin'
    ;)

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  4. What IS a dutch oven anyway?

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  5. A quick Google search will answer all of your Dutch Oven questions...but I'm warnin' ya, Jenni, you're not gonna like it!

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