Monday, April 16, 2012

I Hate My Roommate

Of the Seven Deadly Sins, my favorite's gotta be Envy.
I visit the others often. Sloth, Gluttony, Wrath and Lust are certainly no strangers to me. We have a weekly game night. I always lose.
Pride and Greed? They occasionally crash on my couch.
Envy though--she and I are TIGHT.

"Mean Girls" might call us frenemies.
Any newer cultural reference might just call us cohorts.

That bitch and I hang out nearly every day.
We walk campus, and she points out all the pretty, pretty girls.
She points out all the stylish outfits. And the beautiful bodies to which they cling.
Not a pair of designer shoes goes by unnoticed.
She laughs as she draws my attention to the other women my age in business suits, strolling to their next meeting.
"See that ring on her finger? Her husband is AMAZING. Smart, funny, rich, kind. Did I mention he's gorgeous and killer in the sack?"

I fucking HATE Envy.
And she lives at my house.

The editor of Cosmopolitan magazine once advised that I pay close attention to Envy.
Envy, she advised, can be used as a guidepost to point out those things which you truly desire. In this way, Cosmo Girl (*ahem* lady) argued that Envy is a good friend to have around.

I can see that.

But I also have my doubts.

Especially as Envy is currently using my toothbrush to scrub her callouses.

No comments:

Post a Comment