Monday, March 26, 2012

On Euphemisms (Or sex, for those of you not euphemistically adept)

Alright boys. Enough is enough. It's time to step up your game.

Lemme break this down for you in terms you can understand:

The age of inexperience and excuses has passed.
This ain't the minor leagues, gentlemen.

Yep, when you step up to THIS plate, you better bring your fucking "A" game, 'cause I don't care what stats you posted your previous time out. On THIS field, you're only as good as your last hit.

You bunting? You better have the legs to run it out to first. Pitching? Right down the middle, baby. That's the sweet spot.

And players, I hate to be the one to break it to ya, but sometimes you're gonna hafta accept a sacrifice fly to get your runner home.

Sorry babe. That's just the game.

Don't get me wrong, you don't have to bring home a "w" every time...but you damn sure better bring 110% when you take the field.

Because even Babe Ruth was traded once his bat slowed down.

And that's the word.

"Man Up," sport. You're fucking with the big girls now.

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