Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Damned clowns. I NEED A GENERATOR!

In a recent man-on-the-street poll, it was determined that eight out of eight harried and frail filmmakers scheduled to shoot this weekend awoke from night terrors screaming the words, "Fuck! I need a generator!" at 3 a.m.


True story.

That said, my shoot is this weekend, and I couldn't be more terrified. Unless, of course, there were needles, balloons and clowns involved. Did I ever tell you about the day a clown came to JollyLand and 'wowed the crowd' of children by impaling a yellow balloon with a giant silver needle? Yeah... Chris R***e thought it was the best thing ever. But then again, Chris R***e liked to open the stall door on little children as they used the bathroom, so I don't count him as much of an authority...

Flash forward: 3 a.m. tonight, Erin sits bolt upright in her bed, clutching her satin sheets, and screams: "Fuck! Need a generator! And who let Chris R***e and that goddamned clown on set!"

Yes, folks. I. am. tired.

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