Monday, January 3, 2011

Toast to Ryan and Lindsey

I have to admit; I struggled preparing for this moment. When Lindsey first asked me to speak, I thought it’d be an easier assignment. After all, I have known the groom for his entire life, and Lindsey for almost 8 years. But when I sat down to write, I found the words just wouldn’t come.

I tried themes—love, dove kinda stuff. I even thought I had an epiphany one day on my way to class—I’d write about ‘adaptation.’ I’d write about how, in nature, when two individual and differing species unite or adapt to each other that each makes the other stronger. I thought that this was definitely true of Ryan and Lindsey; their strengths bridge the gaps of individual weaknesses.

But still, none of it seemed right.

Because the truth is, there is no way to define their relationship with words. Try as I might, I cannot capture what it is that draws two people to one another in such a way as to make each one a better version of themselves. Any attempt to previously define it has failed—and if Shakespeare, Keats and Byron fell short of defining it…well, then who am I?

So instead of telling Ryan and Lindsey something they already know—that what they have found is special, and rare, beautiful and powerful—I decided to define what they’ve built in terms that even I, who am still searching, understand. Ryan and Lindsey have found a home.

The concept of home is such an important one in our culture. More than what we are born into, it’s what we seek to establish to foster and nurture our own independence. Home is central to who we are. It’s what we know. It’s what we discover. It’s familiar smells and warm socks and who we really are when the masks and the make up come off.

Home permeates our language.

Home Sweet Home
There’s no place like home.
Of hearth and home
I’m going home.

The more you think about it, ‘home’ is everywhere.

Home base
Home run
Home fires

You can never go home…
Who says you can’t go home?

Welcome home
Home is where you hang your hat
Or, if you are Groucho Marx, where you hang your head…

Home baked
Home team

E.T. phone home?

Religion has certainly seized on it with “Homeward Bound” and
“Take me home, precious Lord, take me home.”

And then, of course, there are the smarmy sayings to hang above the mantle piece… You know the ones:

“A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.”
“A house is made of brick and stone but a home is made of love alone.”

A man’s home is his castle, and be it ever so humble…

Is where the heart is.

Ryan and Lindsey, I am glad you found your home in each other. I hope it brings you comfort in trying times, and joy in all the rest. We love you both.

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