Saturday, January 15, 2011

They say the eyes are the window to the soul

My eyes are dull.
Flat.
Lifeless.

They used to dance.

Come to think about it...I used to dance...

And it's been a while since I've smiled.
Funny, as there was once a time I smiled so much that I actually feared I would develop unattractive "laugh lines."

Was that really so long ago? And what ever happened to that girl? More importantly--has anybody seen her? I think I catch a glimpse of her--a whisper--every now and then. I call to her but ghosts can't answer.

I can't chase her down. I'm too tired.

You see, I'm lifeless.
Flat.
Dull.

Dead.

When did this happen? And who dealt the fatal blow to the girl with the eyes and the laugh and the dance?

What's left is a shell. A thing with strings.

One needs animated limbs to dance...

When and how did this happen?
When did the world go from one of promise to one of pain?
When did inherent confidence transform itself into crippling self doubt?

When did I become so afraid...

When did "I can" become "I can't"?
When did the fear of loss begin to overtake the excitement of potential gain?

When did I give up?

2 comments:

  1. That is so sad! Give me a call if you need to talk.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hear ya. Am on the tail end of this myself. <3

    ReplyDelete