Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Jesus works at Georgia Public Broadcasting

And thus ends another chapter: my condo is set to close on Friday.

In other (and equally exciting) news--I believe Jesus works at Georgia Public Broadcasting. So if I were you (and if I had money) I think I'd strongly consider giving to that particular organization...because, well, He is watching.

Not that He can be fooled by your sudden, self-serving philanthropy. Your unprecedented generosity binge, while unlikely to go unnoticed by the Savior, is equally unlikely to garner you any merit badges if your sole reason for giving is to nudge The Creator toward that new flat screen you've been eyeing. (Oh, He KNOWS.)

So, on second thought, maybe you better not give. After all, why add 'fickle brown-noser' to your list of dubious accomplishments?

Anyway, He works there. I have it on good authority--mine. Because when my well of ideas had run bone-dry (think 'Sahara' or David Spade in pretty much anything David Spade has ever done), the Lord saw fit to speak to me. Through Georgia Public Broadcasting. (And they say television is ruining our children...)

Why Erin, you ask, what wisdom did the Lord impart to you? Whatever did He say? Have you insight on the War in Iraq? Is Armageddon near? Who will emerge victorious in this year's Super Bowl?

And to you I say--no, 2012, and the Falcons. The last of which being the inciting reason for the aforementioned end of the world. After all, it's the only way that could actually happen.

(Go Matt Ryan, go! Awesome.)

But while omniscient insight into war, the apocalypse and football sound impressive, they are nothing compared to the tremendous gift Jesus wrapped for me and tied with a GPB bow--inspiration on the second half of my screenplay.

That's right, boys and girls. Two words: screen. play. (Perhaps that is one compound word? Whatever, It is of no consequence.)

Yesterday I was lost. Today I am found. I sat and waited on the Lord and He delivered. Though, to be fair, I had no idea I was actually waiting on the Lord. I thought I was just lost in a haze of 'don't give a damn'..which, I think, just goes to further emphasize His brilliance.

So I am off to write (umm...some more). Wish me luck. And NO, I WILL NOT tell you what the screenplay's about. Heh. Regretting you read this far now, aren't you? You can't hold it against me though. If you do, I may just counter with "Jesus told me to keep it a surprise."

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