Friday, February 26, 2010

Rear Window

They say "God never closes one door without opening a window." And when they say that, I usually want to hit them.

Why the impulse to violence? Because those self-same folks, so quick to spout their God's-most-convenient-avenues-for-escape theories, are also the ones who warn you away from taking the initiative and walking through.

Their intentions, I have no doubt, are good ones. Especially in the case of family and friends, whose care and concern are genuine. But the resulting situation is a conundrum--how do you know when to follow advice, or when to climb out of the window?

Consider the following examples:

Say you lose your job, and another pops up--one that may not be exactly what you want, but the timing is definitely right. Is that your God-given window? Should you take the job--even if it requires a change in career or living situation--simply because it is there? Is the job falling in your lap a sign from the cosmos that this is the new path you are "supposed to take"?
Or do you hold out, wait on the perfect opportunity that might never come, and risk the possibility of defying those same, possibly mythical cosmos?

Another example--say you just got out of a serious relationship. Maybe days ago. Maybe a week. And some fantastic person walks into your life. Is it possible that that person is your proverbial 'window'? Or, do you refrain from dating Mr. Fantastic because your friends and family say you shouldn't date so quickly after ending another relationship?
If you go with your friends and family, there's the possibility of living life under the ever-present "what if" cloud, wondering if you literally missed a chance at finding "the one" (whatever THAT means.) Conversely, if you jump in with Mr. Window, you run the risk of the transference of feelings and baggage, not to mention a Colossus case of codependency.

And what about the possibility of following your dreams? At what point do you give up your hopes of being a famous accordianist and instead resolve to join your father in his lawn fertilizer business? I mean, you needed income, and there was that open window--Do you climb through?

Sure. At this point you (or maybe I?) am thinking that it all comes down to personal choice. Cosmic window or no cosmic window, only you can know what's right for you... blah, blah, blah, now I want to slap my own self...

Why? Because it's all "sage bullshit", that's why. Telling someone that they and only they can make these life decisions doesn't help at all. Not in the slightest way. Might as well tell someone drowning in an ice-cold pond that the water is cold. "Um....yeah....I picked up on that..." Shiver, shiver, shiver, hemorrhage.

Thing is, I know I usually take the window--or don't--based on fear. Usually the fear of missing out on something. Fear of missing the boat, if you will. You know that fear you get when you have a dream that it's time for the business meeting that will shape your entire career, and then you realize that you will never make it to said meeting because you are on a waterslide in the Bermuda Triangle and have no chance of escaping, much less of finding a suitable tie? Yeah. That's the kind of panic I'm talking about.

And I don't want to live my life that way. Fear is a terrible reason to do just about anything...

But OVERCOMING fear...now, Erin, window or no window, THAT'S a point worth pondering...

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